Ducks in a row

I used to think all my ducks had to be in a row, just so, to be able to connect with divine intelligence or hear my own inner voice. I used to think I had to do all these things to prepare, to be clear, to be ready. I had to eat a certain way, think a certain way, feel a certain way, act a certain way.

But lately I’ve been thinking about that and feeling it may not be true.. maybe we are always connected. Isn’t it really just who we are?

The thought of losing my intuition because my vibe was off because I wasn’t being perfect started to not sit well with me.

How could it leave us if it’s a part of us?

What if it is just who we are, no matter what?

Well, the infinitely intelligent universe showed me just this a few weeks ago.

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I’d had nightmares and I was also feeling pressure over being asked to do a live interview that a lot of people would watch, and I felt out of sorts.

I had a commitment to attend, a drive- by car parade Birthday, and my daughter and husband offered to come along. Before we left I knew this was a recipe for disaster. Instead of talking it through, I pushed forward and tried to talk myself out of an emotional outburst.

I was anxious about where we were going ( new place), how to do a car parade, and I was just grumpy in general. My limit to what stresses me has significantly lowered since Covid-19 came around, and I was at my limit.

I figured that if I was aware I was in the danger zone, I wouldn’t act out. Well, I quickly learned emotions have a way of overpowering logic!

I snapped a number of times at the people I love most in the next 30 minutes, and as a result, the day went completely sideways.

After cooling off and talking things through, I felt empty and sad. It was a Sunday, during quarantine, and I just didn’t know what to do with myself. I was too restless for TV, too agitated for reading, and in no space to be social. I couldn’t shake my sad, quiet, remorseful mood.

I wandered around the house and asked a question. I asked the Universe, what should I do now? (I have realized that for me, asking questions is crucial to getting answers! But this is a topic for another day…)

So, here’s where it gets interesting. I distinctly heard: go to the garage. The garage??? Yep!  So, since there was nothing else I could think of doing I wandered around the garage.

Our garage doesn’t house our cars- it’s full of furniture that doesn’t fit in the house and boxes of old books, artwork, appliances, etc. It’s really my husband’s domain. He has organized it all and knows what we have and where things are.

As I looked around I noticed a shoebox. My husband had labeled it: Serena’s necklaces. Wondering why jewelry had ended up in there I opened it up. Well, much to my amazement I found a necklace inside that I had been looking for the past 6 months or so! Right there, staring up at me! I was so happy to have found it!!

I took the box to the dining room table and spent the better part of 2 hours untangling these treasures. I’d found the missing necklace and I’d found a productive way to spend the afternoon.

I was quite stunned at how clearly I’d heard the guidance to go to the garage, and what wonderful surprise that led me to. I felt like I’d been seen and taken care of.

I wanted to share this personal story with you today to encourage you to always ask your questions, and don’t worry so much about being perfect all the time. Our intuitive wisdom is hard wired in us. It is always there and always accessible to us.

Doing a whole ritual, making things a big deal, waiting for the right moment… these can be fun too, but I no longer think they are necessary. We always are who we are. We always have the connection, and messages can slip in when we least expect them!