One of my greatest teachers told me once that mankind’s biggest addiction is not alcohol, drugs, food, or greed… it is CONTROL.
Over the years I’ve kept my eye out to see how that is true in my own life, and now, many years later, I think she was right. It’s hard to let go. We want what we want when we want it. And this is childish, isn’t it?!
If we’re always seeking control doesn’t that show that we have no trust? I think so. And since TRUST is one of my core values, I practice letting go of control. I practice trusting. And I ask you to do the same when we work together.
This week I found myself talking about this in a session. I was talking with a smart and independent cat who had decided to go on an adventure. His person obviously was worried about him and wanted him to come home already. And yet, he was out in nature and not ready to return yet. He has his freedom to choose, and all we can do is share our desires, send our love, and watch how things unfold. And TRUST.
When people call me they share heavy things, big things. Dogs who are not always able to interact peacefully with others because of neurological issues. Cats who have gone missing. Animals who are adjusting to family members moving out. Cats who have suddenly passed, out of the blue, without a proper goodbye.
These are difficult things for anyone to understand. With behavioral issues, there is often room for negotiation. We can share and hear each other’s perspectives, we can begin to understand each other better, and shifts can happen. Yet often we’re confronted with issues we can not control. I love helping people address these issues. We learn to look at it from as many perspectives and possible, and we work with it from as many different angles as possible. Our animals are free to make their own choices, and it’s up to us to honor them and trust as we watch things unfold.
As much as we can learn and understand, life is still a mystery at heart, don’t you think? The older I get the more I realize this is true. We can’t know everything, and we can’t control everything.
Are you addicted to control? I invite you to practice letting go with me and trusting. No one is perfect, but we can practice!
Hi Elizabeth, I struggle with this, because letting go and taking a step back is as if to say, nothing I do has a consequence in my pet’s life. Having said that, there is a theory that all of our lives are pre-planned and we do not, in fact, take any considered decision of our own making. Am I understanding you correctly that we should stand back and let everything unfold as it will? With Love, Shirley, Gabriel, Muffin and the rest…..
Hi Shirley! Thanks so much for your reply. I’m sorry I just saw this now (I better check my settings!) This is a complex subject, don’t you think?!
I believe we all have free will, and no, I don’t think we should just stand back. We’re here on this planet to express and love and share with one another. The boundary is when we try to control another being. Every being is sovereign. Every being has their own choices and freedom.
I wrote this after having a string of conversations with people who clearly were wanting their animal to be a certain way, and their animals weren’t obliging. I was feeling the human desire to control another, and wanted to address that. We can place our desires out there and share with others, help others, guide others. Things will unfold the way they will, and sometimes we can influence this, and sometimes it’s not in the cards. I hope this helps!
Love,
Elizabeth